Russian Collusion Creates Audience Dissatisfaction With Star Wars VIII

Putin, Nyasha and Mother Russia hacked the minds of 43% of Star Wars moviegoers. There is no other explanation.


I shit you not. I could not make this up if I tried.

Having suffered through the movie myself, I am going to go full tin foil and make the audacious claim that people did not like the movie because it was pure crap. After the prequels made me lose all faith in George Lucas before the last Indiana Jones movie dug an even deeper hole, Disney has done the improbable and made me suffer to the point where I want George Lucas back. At least when Lucas sucks he is sometimes able to do so in a "so bad it's good" way. I'm just waiting for a self-aware "Oh hi Mark."

Kindly ignore the Mark Hamill behind the curtain who came as close as he was probably legally permitted to say that the film was utter garbage. He warned us that Disney went out of their way to make sure they did absolutely nothing that Lucas wanted to do. The way he said it made it clear that this was not an improvement. He implied that he wouldn't have taken the money if he knew this was what he was going to be doing. Obviously, it's all Putin's fault.

Himeno Kisara, Vladimir Putin and Pepe being all multicultural smug AF.

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