It’s nice people want to send us gifts but some of this stuff is worse than bad.
1 Tentacle Porn
We did not get this crap from Mr. Eichenwald. Come to think of it, he may have had another Twitter-induced seizure. We think the tentacle abomination came from ol' Rick Wilson. The name was crossed out but it looked like "Rick Wilson" when we held it up to the light. It's weird all of these "great journalists" can get their hands on this stuff so easily.
Besides everything else wrong with sending us Yentl, it's a fucking DVD! Whoever sent it probably doesn't know we've upgraded to 4k in our bunker. Which means they're fucking with us. It had a sticker on it that makes me think someone got it at 711.
Good find for a gag gift.
3 A Vicious Dog
We're not sure if this dog wandered up or an autist like 6t sent it to the base. I wasn't trying to tangle with it. Melpomene was watching the thing rage from the door. I pushed him out and told him to take care of the dog - to get it off of ARN property. Mel got bit pretty bad.
That's on you 6t!
4 A Makeover With Milo...
IDK how this faggot even got our contact info. He was able to contact Natalia somehow but, he wanted to makeover "one of the boys." Natalia asked him how it was going with his non-profit and scholarship and his phone cut out or something.
We think he wanted to leach off our relaunch.
5 Mandy by Barry Manilow?
When we got this, we totally thought it was Shadilay. I don't know what else to say, we were very disappointed.
6 I've Never Heard Of This...
Laura Loomer got in touch with the front desk and said she'd like to give us all a tire rotation.
I don't know what to make of the offer. I don't think "rotating our tires" is a sexual thing but maybe she wants us to think that. Zanting and I think she's gonna try to plant a bug on somebody or something, that maybe she's trying to get a hold of our pass keys...