Acoustic Kitty

Acoustic Kitty is a CIA project launched by the Directorate of Science & Technology, which uses catgirls to spy on foreign agents.


Acoustic Kitty was a CIA project launched by the Central Intelligence  Agency Directorate of Science & Technology, which in the 1960s  intended to use catgirls to spy on the Kremlin and Soviet embassies. In  an hour-long procedure a veterinary surgeon implanted a   microphone in  the cat’s ear canal, a small radio transmitter at the  base  of its  skull and a thin wire into its fur. This would allow the cat to innocuously record and transmit sound from    its surroundings. Due to problems with distraction, the cat’s sense of    hunger had to be addressed in another operation.  Victor Marchetti, a former CIA officer, said Project Acoustic Kitty cost about $20 million.

The  first Acoustic Kitty mission was to eavesdrop on two men in a park  outside the Soviet compound Washington, D.C.  The cat was released  nearby, but was hit and allegedly killed by a taxi almost immediately.  However, this was disputed in 2013 by Robert Wallace, a former Director    of the CIA’s Office of Technical Service, who said that the project   was  abandoned due to the difficulty of training the cat to behave as    required, and “the equipment was taken out of the cat; the cat was    re-sewn for a second time, and lived a long and happy life afterwards”.  Subsequent tests also failed. Shortly thereafter the project was  considered a failure and declared to be a total loss.

The project  was cancelled in 1967. A closing memorandum said that the CIA  researchers believed that they   could train cats to move short  distances, but that “the environmental   and security factors in using  this technique in a real foreign  situation  force us to conclude that  for our (intelligence) purposes, it  would not  be practical.” The  project was disclosed in 2001, when some CIA documents were  declassified.

Faris NyanNyan

Generation 2

After the initial failure of Acoustic Kitty, the project was tabled until the advent of social media.

With Facebook Twitter and other messaging boards and forums, the need to train cats was eliminated, and other more obscure methods could be used.

Web Scraping installed as a backup feature allows software makers to keep a record of all submitted content, and in some cases all content that has been input ( via key loggers and capture methods) built into formatting tables.

The problem became that the amount of input was just too much to browse.
Even with term searches the billions upon billions of posts made for an overwhelming and resource draining exposition.

Forum Parsing

In order to pare down the content agencies began investing heavily in Social Media companies and inserting employees whose job semmingly was to censor threatening or hateful content.

The truth is these entities ar emeant to herd users from large hosting centers to smaller forums, where resources served a better purpose in guaging these rebllious posters as well as trying to directly sway their opinions.

The jury is still out on the effectiveness on this strategy as herding catgirls has been found to be just as complicated as their previous forebearers.

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