Abstract: Want to kick lefty ass and be prepared for the coming civil war? Hit the gym, and use your egg shells as fertilizer.
Self-Improvement: Gym Time + Gardening = #GardenRight?

A new movement is brewing.


Behold the #GardenRight.


"If you #GardenRight, you get your hands dirty."

~A Certain Wise Contributing Magician


Post-modernism has created entire swaths of American citizens who are unable to accept defeat. Decrepit reptilians, like George Soros, seek to exploit this intrinsic character flaw of the left and stoke the flames of civil unrest. In order to combat the assault on our republic from the left, preparedness is of the utmost importance.

Enter the #GardenRight.

Few things in life are as fulfilling as creating and nurturing life itself. The #GardenRight seeks to spread knowledge of cultivation of the earth for the good of Trump’s America. A mere 2% of Americans in the labor force are responsible for the entirety of food production in the United States. This statistic is drastically different even from as recent as 1950.

Hmmm...

Not only are ever fewer portions of the population employed in agriculture, but the population of farmers is steadily aging. As much as I disdain Baby Boomers, I wonder how agriculture is going to be affected by boomer retirement in the coming decade.

With so few people bearing the responsibility of farming as compared to generations past, the general knowledge transfer of plant cultivation is being lost in post-modern America.

This is disheartening. 


Take Zimbabwe as a case study.

The white farmers did not merely leave. They took with them the very essence of civilization: surplus food production enabling the exploration of other veins of creativity outside of farming. Instead of being able to pursue other productive actions, the Zimbabwean government is reduced to groveling for foodstuffs from the UN while enjoying the worst case of hyperinflation in human history.

Corporations such as Monsanto further seek to subvert the knowledge transfer of farming. Through patents and genetic modification of their seeds, Monsanto is able to confiscate a farmer’s entire crop if even one of the farmer’s produce is found to contain the DNA marker Monsanto embeds in their seeds. As a result, African farmers would rather take the chance of growing native crops that are not as resilient to extreme conditions than accept relief shipments of GMO, harsh-weather optimized seeds from multinationals.


Deplorable.


Q: Why does Svalbard exist?

A: Because the Malthusian, androidian political, scientific, and wealthy classes seek to drastically decrease the world’s population. Once they accomplish their goal, only a select few will be given access to seeds. The seeds stored at Svalbard are heirloom only, meaning the original species without hybridization (or so they say). However, with sponsors of the project including Monsanto, Syngenta, the Bill Gates Foundation, and the Rockefeller Foundation, I think there is plenty of material to be skeptical of what the true agenda is.

So, what must be done to be prepared in the case of mass civil unrest (a likely scenario given today’s political climate)? The answer to that question is obvious: hit the weights and use your egg shells as fertilizer.

While it is true that most of the lefties passing for men in America are sissified pansies sipping on lattes at the local hipster coffee shop (some of those coffee shops make good coffee, to be honest), this is no excuse for not being in top fighting form come the next time we decide to go all sic semper tyrannis on our government. Taking care of your body is vital to not only living a fulfilling life, but being able to protect oneself from threats of physical violence. I see #RWDS LARPers on a certain anonymous board all the time, yet I wonder if any are actually taking the time to build strength in the gym and refueling with 100-octane in the kitchen. #BasedRicFlair pummeled antifa because he put in the requisite work in the weight room.

If you are not yet on this viking’s physical conditioning level, you better put down the anime and go get swole. Otherwise, we won’t be able to count on you when the left decides to incite a civil war. 

LARPing not even once.

Manifesto of the #GardenRight:

1)     Attain a broad understanding of crop cultivation specific to the local climate

2)     Utilize and apply knowledge to grow your foodstuffs

3)     Lift weights at least four times per week, one hour minimum each session

4)     Eat lots of protein

5)     Use coffee grounds, egg shells, and organic plant waste as fertilizer

6)     Impress #NiceGirls with your plants and biceps

 

#ChadNationalism combined with the virtues of the self-sufficient #GardenRight will win out over post-modern lefties on everyday that ends in "day." 

Step right up, comrades. We have an agenda to fulfill.

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