My Boring DC Backstory
Long time no see goys. Between a horrific move and this recent courting from DC, the occasional shitpost on Twitter or Wrongthink has been where most of my free moments not watching anime have gone.
Like most kids that grew up in America in the 80s, I had a fair amount of exposure to DC properties. Reruns of the 60s Batman show, the oooold Batman and Superman cartoons, living through Batman TAS and Superman TAS in the 90s, the 1989 Batman movie being an iconic pop culture moment in my early youth…I wouldn't describe myself as a huge fan, but having a familiarity with it and not hating it.
Fast forward to not quite 10 years ago and I nearly married a thot that was a huge fan of the Batman comics, and read a lot of stuff then to better understand her normie side. I arbitrarily picked 1980 as a starting point, having access to scans and no knowledge of the comics' convoluted timelines, and saw some hope here. In the very first issue of Detective Comics, I read (I don't have the number, January 1980) a Muslim terrorist attempts to blow up the World Trade Center, and Batman kicks his ass. Perhaps this could be a sign that there was something to this.
I promptly came across the most insufferable cunt the world has ever seen, Jason Todd as the second Robin. There are no words to describe how unendurable this little faggot (not in the homosexual sense) was in the 1980s. Bad puns, cloying howdy-doodyness, a consummate kissass…I hated this little fuck beyond words. The only saving grace was knowing that he was going to die.
Going through these, I really had my doubts about there being redeeming qualities here. Most of the characters, good and bad, are annoying. There are tons of text boxes that only tell me what the pictures are showing me 90% of the time, everything is colored in that awful (((Roy Lichtenstein))) style that makes everything look ugly…and then something awesome came along that ignited my creative spark in DC's general direction.
My Boring DC Backstory Part 2
I watched something AMAZING. It was a DC Universe Animated Original Movie (translation: OVA) called Batman: Under The Red Hood. Fair warning: this is one of the exceptions where the movie is much better than the book.
The film opens with Joker beating Jason Todd 99% to death with a crowbar, and then having his butt blown to kingdom come with a bomb. Not fully satisfying giving how much I hated him and how much better Mark Hamill is at being the Joker, but it's a start.
Then the unimaginable happens - Jason Todd comes back from the dead, becomes Red Hood and manages to go 90% Pinochet. He takes no shit from (((crimelords))) getting kids hooked on drugs. Red Hood kills them, takes their turf and institutes a strict no drug for children policy.
Red Hood understands that you can't stop all crime, but you can stop criminals. He doesn't waste precious time and gasoline on a #FreeHelicopterRide, he shoots them dead on the spot. Naturally, Batman is the SJW virtue signaling villain of the film, being all "you can't kill people just because they're violent criminals who will do it again at the first opportunity," while Red Hood essentially counters with a "that's where you're wrong kiddo, BOOM!"
Seriously, this version of Red Hood is impaling Muslims on wooden spikes and killing all illegal immigrants away from being the greatest hero of all time. Goku and his girlieman voice couldn't even suck this guy's balls. Because they're too big.
The film really got my creative juices flowing and I saw a lot of great directions the character could go from here. Instead of doing any of those, DC took away 80% of what made him awesome, toned him waaaay the fuck down, made him a "hero" and stuck him in a team with Starfire (Teen Titans) and Arsenal/Red Arrow (Green Arrow, Teen Titans) as a quasi-anti-hero team. It was...not what I had hoped it to be.
Not even some hot yuri action as a consolation prize. Orange alien and demidemon chicks FTW.
The First Courting From DC
About 3.5-4 years ago a friend/acquaintance that works somewhere in Time Warner (vague to protect his/her privacy) reached out to me to get me to pitch some comics to DC. Although most of my creative had been in pro wrestling and writing novels this person knew my work enough to know that I'd come back with something vastly different from the SJW types that DC typically hires. Oh, and he needs the whole proposal in three days.
Well...shit. Why don't I just whip up some cold fusion while I'm at it? If nothing else this becomes an interesting challenge. Knowing that the vast majority of comic books sell less than 20,000 copies, even franchises with names you would know from Marvel and DC, I wouldn't need to sell that many books to move the needle.
Unlike manga, it's possible to write American comics without having any drawing ability. You write a script, somebody else draws it and yet somebody else colors it in. In manga, you're doing everything on your own unless you happen to know someone who will draw what you write for you, or catch on enough on your own that a publisher will pair you with an artist so you can focus on the writing.
Having limited knowledge of the inner workings of DC comics I stuck to things I knew, and certainly came back with something different. Red Hood and the Outlaws vol.1 has recently ended and put the characters in limbo. The damage had been done as most of it was awful, but I could still save this.
I pitched Red Hood getting his balls back and going back to Gotham to clean it up. Permanently. He recruits a team of honor-leaning villains and getting shit done heroes to take it to criminals, Batman, and his 1000 Batbuddies. A sort of third way, if you will. The good guys start with Red Hood, Chesire (a sexy ninja chick seen in Young Justice), Sportsmaster (her dad, also seen on said TV show), Big Barda (because she had started going soft but wasn't a total SJW cunt yet) and Raven (Teen Titans, the demidemon chick seen above, going darker as she tries to summon and control the old school evil demoness Tala while fighting Zatanna's magic fan service).
As Batman tries to stop Red Hood from throwing Mexican and Antifa criminals out of helicopters Red Hood slowly starts to turn Huntress (Batman and Catwoman's illegitimate daughter, manipulating her daddy issues), Batwoman (a lesbo who will be paid in hot sweet supervillain yuri yuri action) and Starfire (reignite their romance from the beginning of the first Red Hood book, and use her connection with the Teen Titans to try to turn Wonder Girl and Superboy). This would build to a head in issue 13 where all kinds of hell breaks loose.
Ultimately this conflicted with tons of other things I would have no way of knowing were greenlit and half done in the pipeline, so they passed on it. I still contend that this would sell much better than the current Red Hood and the Outlaws vol.2, but such is life. Apparently, they weren't too thrilled with my first choice for a title either: Throw Spics and Commies Out of Helicopters, Race War Now.
While the title fits so beautifully, I'm reasonable sure my contact edited it out of my proposal and no one at DC ever saw it.
The Second Courting From DC
Apparently, Teen Titans and Titans (I didn't know there was a difference (^_^); ) had not been selling as well as you'd think with a TV show supporting them, and my contact again asked me for something outside the box. And for Red Hood if I've got something, because why not. This time I at least got something for my time and was a sent a ton of digital comics to understand the universe the way most of the hardcore fans do. I went through Countdown, 52, several Teen Titans and Titans and Deathstroke and Crises and Amazon Wars and Red Hood and things that crossover with Batman and Superman and fuck me there is no end to this shit over the next three months.
The first thing that jumped out was the inconsistency in quality. Some titles would be good, or mostly good, then suddenly fall off a cliff. Most never recovered, some showed a few sparks of life before dying. Some just couldn't get their act together for more than a couple issues at a time.
The second thing that jumped out is how batshit libtarded DC has become over the last 3-5 years. They never miss an opportunity to show some redneck White beating the shit out of a peaceful Muslim storekeeper for no reason. But that isn't even the half of it.
If you want to have one black supergenius because that will sell comic books to people who wouldn't buy them otherwise, fine. Hey, Thomas Sowell is pretty smart, and he's black, so this isn't theoretically impossible. Maybe I could even believe two. The guy who invented something that made the Super Soaker squirt guns was apparently black. The problem is that they constantly shove in black doctors, scientists, etc. as extras at every possible opportunity, and every black character has to be a supergenius. One time when I saw Steel (he a kang) chew out his daughter (she a kang too) for getting one bad grade in history, and they have to immediately compensate by establishing that she is a literal supergenius in math, biology, and chemistry in the same sentence. Say I have low standards if you must, but I could live with the product of my semen being a supergenius in only three STEM fields. DC goes so far in overcompensating that racialism has no choice but to intensify.
Of course, they have to push homos and illegal immigrants too, as a beaner fudge packer becomes a key member of the Teen Titans. We are "treated" to seeing dudes make out in several DC titles. Even I, in my infinite lust, would limit yuri action to hentai or something extremely niche-specific like Strawberry Panic.
Jews are made to look as non-Jewish as possible. I only found out Batwoman was supposed to be tribe by seeing her light a white genocide candle. But the White Genocide diversity train doesn't stop there.
This is Power Girl. She is famous for being White, being from another dimension and showing off her big tiddies. That, essentially, is her whole act. But we can't have people enjoying HuWhite tiddies, that would be rayciss, so she gets sent home and transfers the Power Girl name and powers to...this.
Of course, she is the most smartest supergenius anywhere, as even Red Robin Tim Drake, a genius in his own right, has to constantly tell her she's the smartest person he knows. This makes little miss 16 year old jiggaboo smarter than Batman, Lex Luthor and plenty of other people he knows with decades of Tesla-level credentials. Riiiight. They blackwash Kid Flash and Reverse Flash too, and those just the ones I saw in Teen Titans. Even Superman gets blackwashed in the Earth 2 books.
The market for comic books remains teen-30something White guys, with no other demographic buying anything consistently enough for their opinion to be commercially viable. It's amazing that (((they))) genuinely don't understand why Marvel and DC comic books have become loss leaders for comic book movies. Independent publishers that succeed, like Dynamite, feature almost exclusively White characters such as Green Hornet, Vampirella, Red Sonja and Steve Austin ($6 million, not Stone Cold).
Dynamite HuWhites in stylish steampunk garb. From Legenderry.
Sooo...after getting over the initial shock of just how right I've been to forsake 99% of western entertainment for all of these years, how can I even salvage this? Disappointing answer: I can't. This is beyond my capacity for redemption.
The current Red Hood and the Outlaws book and the current Titans book were both FLCL-level bad for the first year or so. That was the time to call me. Now they've recovered enough that they need to keep going wherever they're going for now.
The current Teen Titans book...has no redeeming qualities. If I were trying to sabotage it, this is pretty close to what I would do. Even killing/writing out most of the cast and replacing them with "better" characters really isn't an option anymore because those better characters have all been damaged beyond immediate repair by doing stupid shit untrue to their characters in other DC books.
I was banking on Rose Wilson still being enough of a waifu-tier badass to save Teen Titans vol.6 and make her the central focus of the book. If nothing else, putting a chick in charge should keep the SJWs at DC off my dick. Then I saw how badly she's been female castrated in the current Deathstroke books, and she's dead in the water too.
End result: Let's reevaluate where Red Hood and Titans are 6-12 months from now and talk again if you're still interested. You don't pay well enough for me to take the fall on this dying Teen Titans book.
The Morals of the Story
At least today, American forms of entertainment are more concerned with virtue signaling than making money. You'd think comic books would be an exception given the target market, but they've driven away so many people over the last generation that there might only be ultra hardcores and SJWs left. American comics were HUGE in the early 90s, regularly having multiple books sell over a million copies in a month, while the best of the best sellers struggle to break 150,000 today.
It remains nearly impossible for new writers to break in, and I would have never received half a glance if not for an inside connection due the three strikes of being White, having a penis and being heterosexual. Even with that I still don't know how far it really went since all of my interaction was through said contact.
Marvel and DC put more emphasis on SJWing than telling good stories, although some good stories and characters manage to sneak through. Some of the smaller publishers like Dynamite still produce quality content.
If you want something different once in a while, these are decent:
Batman: Under the Red Hood (movie)
Green Arrow vol.3 #69-72 (Red Hood schools libtard Green Arrow hard)
Batman: Battle For The Cowl (the end of peak Red Hood killing criminals)
Teen Titans vol.3 (the 100 issue series that ended in 2011, goes downhill for good once Wonder Girl turns into a bitch)
Legenderry (the character-specific books happen after the main story)
Vampirella vol.1 (the original that started in the 60s is kinda like Urusei Yatsura in that it's mostly funny and fan service with it being based on her being an alien rather than a vampire, I never got around to reading the newer stuff)
Chaos! Comics from the 90s (Lady Death, Evil Ernie, Pugaroti, stuff like that. It was pretty good until it wasn't and then got good again right before the company died, plus the chicks are super hot. Find a reading order online. It's convoluted as hell.)
Tracking down physical copies may prove difficult as everything that isn't brand new right now in American comics is OOP (sometimes there will be trade paperback compilations, but those go OOP too). Scans should be easily found wherever good torrents are distributed.