The beloved corporation Netflix, famous for their stellar adaptation of Death Note which was loved by fans and critics alike, have just announced the cast of their newest Anime adaptation Cowboy Bebop.
Despite the powerful and diverse cast, some trolls and incel losers took to Twitter to talk about their disappointment, claiming that “nothing is safe anymore” and “this will be just like Death Note” implying that Death Note was bad in the first place. Utter nonsense.
In the middle of all this anger and confusion, one man had the answer we were all looking for and gave us comfort that the project might turn out to be good after all.
We reached out to the Netflix executives behind the movie, and it turns out that most of them were away on a Bar Mitzvah and couldn’t leave a statement. However, one of our talented reporters uncovered that Netflix is negotiating with J.K. Rowling, who will be tasked with turning the entire cast gay and giving them weird fetishes.
Finally, Netflix asked us to encourage people to subscribe to their service and get their friends and family to subscribe too so they can keep bringing us more diverse and progressive adaptations of your favorite anime shows.