GAMERS RISE UP! Take Over the GOP

So easy even an autistic neckbeard can do it.


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4 comments, 83 shares, 11 points

In the last year, we heard many people hemming and hawing about how Trump has no allies inside the GOP. Unfortunately, this hasn’t really changed and the GOP is still filled with swamp creatures. Trump has complained many times about his lack of allies in his administration (albeit not done anything about it). Not from lack of trying but mostly because there is no one to pick from. Since most of you are autistic NEETS I will be explaining how to make inroads at your local GOP. It’s actually not that hard to advance considering most of your competition is retarded boomers. Provided you keep your fed posting, larping, and power level spikes hidden it shouldn’t really be all too difficult.

Step 1 - Look the Part

Before you even leave the house you need to do this. I shouldn't have to write this section but here I am. Since you guys probably watch anime that means you have limited social experience, statistically speaking. But you want to hide that. The easiest way to blow your cover and get zero respect is to look like a fat atrocious neckbeard. That doesn't mean you want to show up in a 3 piece suit. It's a fine line. Business casual is ideal. Some outfit ideas that would be acceptable are; jeans with a button down shirt, also known as the tech CEO look. Make sure they are nice jeans though. No rips or tears. Also, a Polo is suitable for warmer climates or summer months. Khakis also acceptable but personally I think khakis are probably too formal for most of the work you'll be doing. Also get a damn hair cut. If your hair is long, cut it. Think of it as a casual job interview. No one wants a slob around. And obviously, they want presentable people for GOOD OPTICS. You might be able to volunteer looking like a clown but you will never advance if no one takes you seriously.

Step 2 - Timing

The best time to get involved is right before an election season starts. Not during. A few months before an election season is usually a good idea. Gives you time to get good at whatever it is you will be doing and if everything goes well you will be asked to teach people who also volunteered how to do their duties. This shows leadership ability. Another benefit showing up early does is showing that you are a serious person. Not someone who will just ditch as soon as the election is over. Depending on the size of the GOP in your area you can probably help out during off seasons as well - if it's possible I'd do so. Once again, you want to build report with the leadership. After an election is kind of a slow season. Most of the time in a slow season you will be stuffing envelopes and other grunt work but don't be discouraged. It's like a job. It takes time to prove you are worthy of taking responsibility.

Step 3 - What To Do When you Actually Get To Your Local GOP

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Rule 1 about this: don't go off on fringe political rants and barrage the guys in charge with your "totally sweet idea on how to make your 3rd positional eco-fascism appeal to average republicans". You are lowest on the totem pole no one really cares, furthermore you are probably wrong. Politics is harder than it seems to an outsider. There are several factors that you probably aren't accounting for. Even though most people in charge are dumb boomers, they are swamp creatures. They at the very least understand politics. Just try to be useful and do anything they tell you. Sometimes they will have you do robocalls. If they do, DO NOT GO FUCKING OFF SCRIPT. They say you are allowed to go off script but you probably are low charisma with low verbal IQ. That's why you watch anime. Just read of the script and try to be compelling by up talking and sounding engaged. No one really cares what a monotone weirdo has to say, less so when it's some random faceless robocall they have never met calling or leaving a message. Sometimes you will be working at fundraisers as some of the help. A great way to show your stuff if you have a background in the restaurant industry cocktail waitressing/waiting will make you look like a rock star. Be personable. Show that you are a go-getter.

Step 4 - Advancement

If you want to advance you have to have your life in order. A college degree isn't necessary but it helps (About all a college degree is good for these days tbh). If you want to advance you will have to at least show the local GOP you are working towards something in your life.  No one's going to bring a transient into the party rank and file.  Hopefully, after a few months/years of working for free, you show yourself as valuable and they bring you on which leads me to part 5 the fun part.

Step 5 - Being respected in the party.

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Once people respect you-you can actually start giving ideas on how to do stuff and people will listen. Local GOP people are clueless about how to actually get people engaged. I've heard when the idea of "having a booth at a convention" brought up. They'd pay for it. But no one ever follows through to actually go to a con as a member of the GOP. Show some wherewithal and actually do it. Teach the leaders how to social media, they are boomers after all. Basically, make yourself look like an asset. Eventually, you might be able to run for some minor office like James Allsup. Most of these positions are unopposed and basically anyone the party nominates wins. You want to be that guy. County chair is really not that hard a goal to reach in a lot of smaller counties.

Step 7 - Other Avenues

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Some other recruiting grounds for the GOP are college republicans, democratic clubs, city meetings, and good o'le fashioned networking (ya know that thing people did before the internet). You'll find that you've already established a great number of these before ever actually making it to this point. Really a lot of this stuff is pretty obvious but maybe this might spur people to act if they realize how easy it really is.

Summing it up: if you want the GOP to change, become the change from the inside. Subvert them like the neocons first did to us.


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4 Comments

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  1. Just to frame up politics for everyone, Some years ago I went to a local town hall for our GOP rep and there were probably 150 or so people there taking issue with the GOP immigration stand. When, a few days later, he held an event to help old people with their old-people benefits they had to have it a local college hall. You think politics is about big issues, but then you find out it’s about how to lower the speed limit so old farts don’t feel uncomfortable driving to the watering hole to get their senior discount meals.

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