I Don’t Know About You, But That Looks Like A Dildo

That's totally a banana. You're just imagining things.


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2 comments, 38 shares, 7 points

    Toy company Orb Toys, founded in 1990 and based out of Nova Scotia, has never been a household name. As a relatively small company, it has stayed out of the public eye. That may change however, because they came out with a series of particularly bizarre toys.

    I’m not sure when they came out as official information on these toys is quite sparse, boiling down to advertising blurbs. There were Youtube videos about Orb Oddities Slimi Ballz (Yes that is actually how they spell it) made about a year ago. That however is not what makes these toys… interesting. What makes it interesting is a couple of particularly perverse toys.

    The first is called Poopsie Sime Surprise Unicorn. This line consists of a series of unicorn princesses who wear diapers and poop slime. The girls that play with them are then expected to play with that slime. The problem here should be obvious. It’s implied that they’re playing with poop. I can understand a party gag made for adults, but this is designed for children. This is to be used in a child’s most formative years; when they are learning what normal is. This however wouldn’t catch my eye, if it wasn’t paired with something much worse.

Credit

Pretty wierd

    Orb Oddities Fusion Foods is a product resembling a banana, among other things. Just look at the video below and think.

Credit

We swear, it's just a banana! Get your mind out of the gutter!

    Yeah, it looks like a dildo. It flops like a dildo. It’s shaped like a dildo. It’s a dildo disguised as a banana toy, and it’s being marketed to children. You might think that this is a mistake. How could a toy company think this is ok? That’s a good question; how could they? Imagine the amount of people that had to look at this and approve. I find it hard to believe that they didn’t know what they were doing. If this is indeed stupidity, it is one of it’s the highest levels of stupidity I’ve ever seen. Just look at it. How do the designers and marketing experts, or anyone for that matter, look at this and not see a dildo? Are they children themselves?

    It’s doubtful that this product will be a success. Most parents will be unwilling to buy their children dildos. This still bothers me, despite the almost certain failure. Will they try again? The left will continue their work to normalize child sexuality. If 8 year old drag queens are a thing, why not this? If not now, then what about 10 or 20 years down the line? Is this not just a natural progression of the dark path we’re heading down? Will future generations consider this article just as backwards as articles speaking out against the sexual revolution are considered today? It’s a terrifying prospect. Let’s hope it’s one that doesn’t come to pass.


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