Lucid Hurricane: When Catfishes Get Catfished

After a week of sharpie memes, hurt feelings, and twitter reports, it comes to light that two men posing as e-girls catfished each other and forgot to say "no homo."

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For those of you not up to speed on the Lucid Hurricane drama, it’s probably too late to go on twitter to check for yourself because Lucid has already deleted his account following a weeklong meltdown and bizarre dox. It’s a long story But I’ll do my best to boil this e-drama down for you anons who were too busy with with your jobs and life to keep track. If you want the short, post-sharpie drama only, you can catch it archived here. Otherwise we’re going to have to take a little trip…

Let's turn back time, to the good old days...

Well maybe not that far back, but back to last November. Some of you might remember Lucid flipping out at several Guy Fawkes larpers who were reporting and taking down lucid's account nearly every day. But there was another bad actor and a few of his friends who were also stalking the Lucid account (and several other accounts the stalker thought to be women).

One of these women was a MAGA account that went by Ames (actual female), who decided to file a police report. Since Lucid was also being stalked and harrassed by this particular stalker, Ames approached Lucid, who she had known since before the election, and asked Lucid to submit a statement as well. Ames asked if they could talk on the phone to discuss the police report and evidence, but Lucid refused. 

Talking on the phone would of course would be a problem for Lucid because he was a dude, but nobody knew that in November. To make things even more awkward, he had been hanging out in female-only MAGA discord servers for years now, all without ever jumping into voice. So rather than submit a police report and dox himself, or use voice comms and reveal himself as a creeper, he decided to use a wordpress submission form to send a statment to the police, which he thought would be anonymous. 

He ended up sending it from an old neighbors house whose last name was Dale. When the police got his submission, they pulled the name of the guy who owned the house and responded to Ames that they recieved a statement from "Dale." 

Not only was Ames shocked to hear her long-time girlfriend was actually a dude-friend, but the report lacked any substance too. Ames confronted Lucid on what happened and got an even more bewildering response.

Now a normal person who had been running an e-girl twitter account might have a legitimate excuse when confronted. Maybe they were doing it to pull a larger audience, or to use the army of white knights to protect themselves from reportfags. Instead, Lucid flipped on Ames, broke off the relationship and started running with the same group that used to be stalking him and the women from his his old crew. For most of his old crowd, this seemed like a confusing betrayal. So what happened?

Just Two Dudes Pretending to Be Girls On the Internet

To understand the situation Lucid was in, we have to go back to his stalker. the stalker was a guy named Tom, and he had been at it for years under many different e-girl accounts, and harassed many different women. Although lucid had published a blog  post in 2016 (archived here) outlining who the stalker was, and Tom's general methods and transitions fom e-girl identity to e-girl identity, his current identity, "Panthera 4 Trump" was unknown to Lucid. And who could blame him? Tom usually had an army of white knights working with him doing the harassing for m'dude. So when things reached their peak, both Lucid and Panthera/Tom decided to call and confront one another to end the what Lucid thought at the time was just a drama dispute between him and a some MAGA girl.

Classic example of why you should never forget to say "no homo."
So they called each other, each expecting to hear a soft, silky voice on the other end of the line. Instead it turned out to be two thirsty middle-aged men discussing their e-genders. Besides disappointment and an awkward erection, it's pretty clear they also walked away with some consessions: in return for them not ruining the other's brand, they would keep each other's genders secret. So Lucid was in a bind: he couldn't help Ames or he would lose his e-vagina. Lucid started claiming that his blog detailing the same Tom wasn't accurate and that he just imagined it all or something, making the divide between Lucid and the women who had been harassed by Tom even greater. But what could he do? If he said it was true then Lucid's strong brand of normie-friendly bi-pride would be destroyed by Tom's subsequent dox of him.

From then on Tom and Lucid were uneasy allies, and when they weren't 'ing, they were working overtime to discredit Ames, who was a major threat to both of them. If Ames convinced everyone Lucid was a man, then Tom would have no more leverage over Lucid, which could lead to Tom having his e-girl status revoked as well. Thus, the two e-girls entered a mexican standoff. 

The few confirmed Tom e-girl accounts

And the standoff would have lasted if only Tom kept his dick in his pants. Instead he was easily catfished by Spicci, who, while posing as a smoking-hot 13-year-old, convinced Tom to call him on skype through DMs and proceeded to laugh in his face and dox him, dumping their DMs on Twitter. Tom/Panthera responded by doing what e-girls always do in these situations and deleted his account and respawned as a another e-girl.

How Sharpies Killed an e-girl

Sometime about a week before the date of this article is when people actually started paying attention to this drama again. Tom was still stalking women as another e-girl and Lucid was enjoying the typical e-girl benefits of an inflated following despite shitty boomer-posting. That was - until Progressive Dad decided to shitpost. 

This particular shitpost was one that involved a fake DM of lucid shoving A LOT of shapies into her butt and apparently "winning" a sharpie-in-butt contest with other notable trad-thots. Seeing his e-girl image being tarnished, Lucid mobilized his white knights and started to report anyone who spread the Sharpie meme. 

wise words

Decent into Madness

After getting bants'd pretty hard, Lucid accused progdad of being a pedophile then started reporting every account she could, even going to report accounts that were following people he didn't like. There were many casualties afterword. Progdad's twitter and youtube account went down, as did several other accounts posting sharpie memes. When progdad came back, lucid even tried to hold him hostage.

stop shitposting or your dad gets the bulletThings just went downhill from there. Lucid changed names several times and complained to every twitter support staff he could think of to get them to block google voice numbers, renounced maga, railed against frogs, and generally went crazy. He even went on /pol/ and made a self-post talking about how great she was, complete with no less then seven posts by the same account talking about what a great person He was and how all those evil frog trolls need to be taken care of. Imagine the kind of boomer that would complain about frogs on /pol/.

Then Lucid must have said fuck it. He dumped MAGA from his bio for #BiPrideWorldwide, changed his name to Laundromat Huzzy, and continued his rant about frogs. He lost his lucidhuricaneX @ to a troll after this name change, so there was no more going back from here. He was now the Laundromat Huzzy!

w e w

All is Revealed

It was about that time that lucid was doxed. An account popped up with Lucid's actual name and @'ed his employer with "hi," then proceeded to drop this bomb right in the middle of Iranian dradon's post. Lucid Immediately locked her account down, and deleted a few hours later. She popped up again for a few minutes as a totally different e-girl using her old account, but that was quickly spotted too and she deleted that one as well. 

So where is "she" now?

Probably on another e-girl account, reporting us right now for laughing at him. But I'm sure we'll see him again real soon. But until then, let this be a lesson to all of us. Never trust e-girls unless they are 2D. 

Okay, well, maybe not...

Update: the never-ending story

After Lucid deactivated his account, several people decided to sit on all of his @'s (including yours truly) just for fun. About a day later lucid reactivated and had to rename himself, so he assumed my old name and proceeded to pretend to shove sharpies up his butt to own me or something. 

And people say meme magic isn't real.

A day later we recieved an anonymous tip stating that Lucid is totally, definitly a real female. 

Can't really argue with this
Then we were contacted by some guy claiming to be Tom. He says he wasn't catfished and to prove it please call him anytime, day or night, at 1-847-975-2175 to hear his side of the story.

I mean if you say soFinal update: looks like lucid has seen the errors of her ways. And be that we mean everyone was wrong but here. She just accidentally was batting for the wrong team and didn't realize it. Could have happened to anybody. But at least we have some closure. 

@WomenAbuser (spicci) now abusing beta men too!


So I wrote an article that made you angry enough to read my bio? I'm really sorry about that. Maybe don't be such a faggot next time?

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