Ah, the salty air of a Donald Trump tweet morning. Come one, come all to be assured at the immense distaste of runny noses, tears, and snot dribble that immediately follows the blissful groups of 280 character spaces that is Donald Trump’s twitter posts. It was a decently busy morning, starting at 5:30ish AM Trump time as he woke up and his genius fed the digital world with its grace, setting the tone for whatever hot topics the news were to cover for the day. The saying goes “You’ll have to get up pretty early in the morning to pull one over on me.”
And that “early” would be beating Donald Trump to his morning deuce, his phone in hand.
Trump's Tweet likely during morning movement of bowel
WAZAM! Even before wiping, the world is hard dialed into a topic of media for the day. And like a good little puppet, the hard working and devoted writers at the Washington Post were ready and waiting to jump on the Drumpfthpthtpthp drain :DDD
Enter Jenna Johnson:
Good little puppet WaPo
Let's ignore the closed case indictments flying off the shelf. Let's ignore the Zionist shilling our very own Zanting's fine reporting has uncovered. OY VEY! Let's not even DARE to mention Kushner's shilling past to the very people Trump supporters hate. No no no. Let's get into sex accusations! Let's face it, folks. O'le Trumpalumpadumpagus has been a long time hated bad goy of the feminist race. And he's been in and out of the media only 6 gorillion times before his candidacy for that very reason. What with his Rosey O'Dogface controversy and the huge explosions over it, I'd imagine this unholy terror that destroys women would have had enough bad publicity thrown around town that the snail trailing rape squealing cockroaches would have crawled out of the woodwork to sue for that sweet Drumpf rump fortune looooooong long ago. which begs the question................
Surely enough people hated him after the primaries to have them dig into his past with a subterranean mega drill and cry wolf like a fat little pig with a set of canines lodged in his/her/them/they/zim/zer/fryingpan butt meat!
Maybe that's just me? Meh.. Mmkay. Well-
It's about this time Donald has made his way to the kitchen and has wolfed down his daily serving of gold-plated, fiber-enriched ambrosia fiber MAGA-O's. He whips out his phone again and with a chuckle, under his breath, he gives Melania a smirk and a wink.
OH MY SHIT!
Another stroke of genius? Maybe. Look as there are no twitter handles tagged as he is calling them out. No quick links for people to click as to see the victims' retorts. NO WORRIES! I wouldn't make you look it up yourself. Here. I even looked up a reason as to why she would say such things in the next pic. And that reason would be she had her head shoved so far up Hillary Clinton's ass that all the bleach and ammonia in her hair is the reason for all the sores on Killary's tongue. Only when Hillary lost? Under the bus was the best place for anyone involved with the election. We all know the dindu of Hillary and the nuffin of why she lost. It's just everyone else's fault.
Wew lad. Yes. Someone calls you dirty and we make it about EVERYONE!
Trump: "you SUCK!"
Gillibrand: "I'm a woman. I suck. All women suck. Trump said so."
*Stephen Colbert screams something incomprehensible followed by "2 scoops" and a raging mob of paid audience members* Please clap?
Someone come pick this thing up...? I think it's broken.
Let's just keep tearing on down, shall we? See what we did here?
"the people are great. I love the people. No body loves people more than me. I know a guy. He's a person. I love 'um. Go ahead ask 'em. He'll tell you I love all the people."
People know that talk. They love that talk. It's a meme inside of itself. They smile. Let's add a little pressure.
"Those people. I love 'em. They'll DO THE RIGHT THING!" Alabama is all about a bit o' git 'er dun, my buds. And what's all over the news tonight? Of course the Alabama election. Trump has the whole country chiming in. What other senatorial special elections have you heard of PRE-Trump? We knew they existed for the most part, but did you ever watch them if they weren't in your state? No? How about now? That's 1488-D chess, my friends. Memetics at its finest.
He started it off in a ball of fire against him to draw attention. He got everyone looking at him and then WHAM-O he focuses the attention at the state election. Donald does this every day. The negative media play into his hands and only enable the success of his tactic by labeling it bullying or just anything negative in general. Nice stories don't make for good news. Someone being a jackass will make headlines every time.