Microchip’s Self-Help Journey

In an exclusive interview with AnimeRight News, Microchip discusses his Twitter hiatus


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6 comments, 11 shares, 7 points

The infamous Microchip recently made an appearance on Twitter after a year-long hiatus. His return has the left and the right guessing “What is Micro up to now” 

Evolution Of Birds

AnimeRightNews:  It's been a while, how are your birds doing Micro?

Micro:  Well, (long pause) I don't have any more birds. I've moved on.

AnimeRightNews:  How did that happen?  We thought you were a bird enthusiast.

Micro:  I'll be honest, I loved my birds but they've moved on and so have I.

AnimeRightNews:  Can you elaborate?

Micro: Well, (long pause) they died. I lost several birds due to histoplasmosis. When I lost my New Zealand Kea, I couldn't go on. I left Twitter and angry posted on Gab aimlessly.

AnimeRightNews:  I'm sorry for your loss. How are you coping now?

Micro: (sigh) It's a battle every day. But the devastation lead me down a journey of self-reflection which has been refreshing.

AnimeRightNews:  What does that even mean?

Micro: I thought about my passion for birds and how I relate to the fowl. In the past I mentioned chaos but through this deep dive, I came to the realization that it's the generosity of the fowl that electrified me.

AnimeRightNews: Generosity? How are birds generous?

Micro: It doesn't matter.

AnimeRightNews: So you don't appreciate chaos anymore? Now you are generous?

Micro: Jesus Christ, you're so fucking stupid.

AnimeRightNews: Fair enough so what's next for Micro?

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What's Next

Micro:  I soared through a self-help expedition and during this enlightenment I was preordained by Joseph Smith JR. The Prophet to pay it forward.

AnimeRightNews:  Pay what forward?

Micro: Everything.

AnimeRightNews:  Where is this going Micro?

Micro:  I'm dedicating my life to my new project.

AnimeRightNews:  Activation System Maven?

Micro: What is  Activation System Maven?

AnimeRightNews: What project then?

Micro: My advice column.

AnimeRightNews: What advice column?

Micro: Dear Microchip.

AnimeRightNews: (laughing hysterically)

Micro: Fuck you guys.

Micro Gets Real

AnimeRightNews:  What kind of advice?

Micro: Everything.

AnimeRightNews:  Advice about birds?

Micro:  Don't bring up my fucking birds dipshit.

AnimeRightNews:  So you'll just give random advice on Twitter.

Micro: How the fuck do you idiots even function.

AnimeRightNews: Can you elaborate?

Micro: I'm like an oracle and I'm ready to share my knowledge but you guys are too busy jerking off to cartoons.


A Glimpse Into The Future

AnimeRightNews:  How will you share your knowledge?

Micro: Young men and women seeking truth will submit questions and as prophesized I will enlighten them.

AnimeRightNews:  Are you still Mormon?

Micro:  Shut the fuck up.

AnimeRightNews:  What are you hoping to accomplish?

Micro: To have every woman on the internet pledge allegiance to my wing dong and sell them t-shirts.

AnimeRightNews: Alrighty then, anything else you care to share?

Micro: Yeh, you're all fucking stupid and I don't even know why I talk to you.

Dear Microchip When

AnimeRightNews:  When can we expect Dear Microchip?

Micro: I'll let you dipshits know and you can tell everyone else.

AnimeRightNews:  Uh ok, well thanks for sitting down with us.

Micro:  Fuck you.


TB

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