Welcome everyone. Welcome to Friday. You have reached the end of the week. congratulations. I have a gift for you all: Taco Bell Live Event 2024. What is it? It’s basically a Taco Bell The mini-E3 is complete with music, commercials, and all the awkward moments you crave from something like this. Yes, if you guessed that this would be a weird late-capitalist fever dream, you’re right.
I had no idea this event was happening until someone on Twitter started tweeting about it. I immediately dropped everything and started watching.
The event opened with Taco Bell’s CEO in attendance and talked about how great the fast food chain is and how anyone can enjoy giant tacos and burritos. To clarify this, He pointed out a tweet that I’m 98% sure is a joke He wasn’t supposed to be taken seriously by anyone, especially the guy who ran Taco Bell. She described Taco Bell as “the last upper-class melting pot in this country.”
Then, there was more fluff, and I’ll be honest with all of you: If you’ve been following this event for big news about the Baja Blast or what’s next for Taco Bell’s menu, you’re probably going to be a little disappointed by all the fluff. Stuffed at a Ubisoft conference circa 2015.
At some point, someone started handing out awards to people for best menu and best Taco Bell wedding. Later, the entire event stopped for a few minutes to allow Two men playing some acoustic music. They looked good, but camera shots of the crowd (including the guy’s hat with the “Wet Dreams Surf Club” logo on it) seemed to indicate that the room wasn’t very much into that vibe and just wanted to see what new Taco Bell was going down.
Finally, after about 30 minutes of…whatever After all, Taylor Montgomery, Taco Bell’s chief marketing officer, showed up to deliver some Taco Bell product news to thunderous applause and cheers. NEWS: Taco Bell wants and plans to make its famous nacho fries permanent menu items. But they are still trying to “figure out” how to do it. OK…
Next, he gave us a shadow drop (just like that Hi Fi Rush In Xbox Developer Direct!), advertising the new “Cheesy Chicken Crisanda,” a cheese-filled empanada stuffed with chicken. People gasped (not kidding) when he confirmed that this new menu item would be available nationwide next week.
Next, he revealed that Taco Bell is bringing chicken nuggets to the menu. Upon seeing these fried chicken pieces, one of the audience members shouted, “No way!” Montgomery was quick to reply: “Yes!” Who said “impossible”, yes girl!
then, After some air hornsMontgomery has unveiled a new item for a “very limited time”: Baja Blast ice cream. It is scheduled to be released this summer. I assume at this point at least one person in the audience has swooned over all the Taco Bell news. It was exaggerated.
And for all your sauce packet needs, Taco Bell knows you’re tired of boring old packets. So this year it changed and we got our first look at the new items. Exciting stuff, guys. I’m shaking.
But Taco Bell wasn’t done. no. After all that, he showed Montgomery a picture of the Crunchwrap movie and said, “Looks like a regular Crunchwrap movie, doesn’t it?” Guys, this is the first clue that the guy is about to scam you all. him too. It turns out it wasn’t a regular Crunchwrap (GASP!) but actually contained a giant Cheez-It.
“Ooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!” Many people in the audience went. “Woah!” Someone else shouted at this revelation.
“Introducing: Cheez-It Crunchwrap!” More cheering followed. According to Montgomery, this new item will be available at every Taco Bell restaurant this summer. Then the event ended with a rap break.
Enjoy the weekend, and remember to stream Live Mas!